Death to Hipsters.

Personal grooming takes a back seat once you become a mum. Gross understatement of the century? Perhaps. But true none the less.
There is simply less time to maintain appearances when you have kids to look after, and so the upkeep gets a bit neglected.

I shower at least once a day, sometimes twice depending on what I have been doing throughout the day and also depending on what manner of foulness has been wiped over me. Occasionally I will take a look at my arm pits to see if they need a shave. This week I peeked under there only to find what looked like a small gathering of Bondi Hipsters. WTF? I swear I shaved only a few days ago, and now we have this? They’ve obviously congregated there because it’s not yet discovered by the mainstream population and therefore considered “cool” to these types. Well, the secret is out you little pricks, get the hell out of my pits!

I look further south and discover yet more hairy hipster problems to attend to. The lady garden is out of control, and my legs are heading in the same direction. Hormones suck!

It’s worth mentioning that before I was pregnant with the original Womb Raider I had spent approximately $1000 on laser hair removal to rid myself of any unwanted hair in two important regions. V Jay Jay and arm pits. It was amazing. Over about a year I watched the need for a razor simply disappear altogether, and I proudly enjoyed my racing stripe and bald underarms.

Once I got pregnant however, the hair slowly started growing back. It was terrible, I grew more on my thighs and an ugly, unwanted snail trail. It was faint, but really unpleasant. Bye bye laser smoothness, hello hairy hipsterville. Is this actually hipster cool to have hair “there”? I don’t care, I want it gone!

Now I’m back to my hair growing a metre a minute (as seems to happen in pregnancy for me) and I am unable to zap it away until the Womb Raider is out. I’m only 14 weeks into this pregnancy, so if my calculations are correct I could have 26 metre long hair if I leave it and don’t shave at all between now and the birth.

Dare me?

Ned Kelly – The original hipster.

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